Love the Beach

Day 27- I wrote this!!

2012-01-27T19:02:00.000-08:00

Anterior epiduroscopic neural decompression: Eight-center experience in 154 patients - Richter - 2012 - European Journal of Pain Supplements - Wiley Online Library

Day 24- Lucas gets shots. He got over the trauma quickly and found the paper a great toy!

2012-01-24T14:12:00.001-08:00

Day 22- Pretty much sums up the last few days. We hate teething!!

2012-01-22T13:29:00.001-08:00

Day 21- Lucas's 6 month pics. The ALL turned out super cute even though he's sick and teething. Poor adorable baby boy!

2012-01-21T22:21:00.000-08:00

Day 20- Hale-frickin-luyah! The neighbor's weeds finally get mowed!!

2012-01-20T11:23:00.001-08:00

Day 18- Prized posession- my grandmother's set of scriptures. I read from them every night and get to learn what she found important in their sacred words.

2012-01-19T00:34:00.001-08:00

Day 16- My work buddy- a MacBook Pro w/ my logo. Love it!!

2012-01-16T15:51:00.001-08:00

Day 14- the YW Book of Mormon read-a-thon. We read all 63 chapters of Alma in 12hrs. Not too impressive, but a memorable experience!

2012-01-15T00:19:00.001-08:00

Day 13- The gym is my good luck charm

2012-01-13T12:44:00.001-08:00

Day 12- Hope's an oppertunist when Jeff conks out watching TV

2012-01-12T23:25:00.001-08:00

Day 11- Hope rides in style! Walking is beneath her.

2012-01-11T20:28:00.001-08:00

Day 10- Not a fan of the homemade carrot babyfood.

2012-01-10T23:35:00.001-08:00

Day 8- My Bugaboo!

2012-01-08T18:27:00.001-08:00

Day 7- First Time Swinging!

2012-01-07T11:22:00.001-08:00

day 6- The Three Stooges

2012-01-07T11:21:00.001-08:00

Day 5- The award for the strangest sleeping habits goes to ... The kid with the blanket over his face! That's my baby! ;)

2012-01-05T23:33:00.001-08:00

Day 4- Peaches and her new bows

2012-01-04T17:36:00.001-08:00

Day 3- This part of Christmas I never want to take down.

2012-01-03T23:35:00.001-08:00

Day 2- My newest shadow

2012-01-02T22:32:00.000-08:00

Meet Ginger. We found her a few weekends ago a street over getting chased by a bigger dog. There was a guy running after the dogs, so we thought they were both his. We caught this one (after she tried to bite my hand off. Not a fan of getting chased into a corner, I guess!) and took her back, but the guy said she was just chasing his dog and he had no idea who she belonged to. I was with Raine, Rio, and their friends Kylee and Brinna Riches who immediately suggested that we bring the dog home, post signs, and try to find the owner. Besides, she was obviously lost and hungry (she's pretty bony still) so we knew she needed a good temporary home. Temporary has kinda turned out to be more like permanent home. We haven't seen any Lost Dog signs and she's kinda grown on us. Jeff, not so much. She got on the table and ate the rest of his meatloaf and has been in the dog house, so to speak, since. Haha!!

Day 1- We have a sitter-upper!!

2012-01-02T01:16:00.000-08:00

Lucas started sitting up yesterday. We keep the Boppy around him for when he occasionally tips over. He's not a fan of hitting his head on the ground. ;)

I'd also like to point out the dapper new outfit he's wearing. Thanks Gpa & Gma Packer!!

Jump, jump, jump!

2011-10-19T17:17:00.000-07:00

We got Lucas a jumper so he'd have a better way to get some of his energy out. At first he didn't quite know what to do.

What is this crazy contraption you have put me in?

Hey, you. Come a little closer so I can drool on you!

Oh, you want to take my picture? I'm shocked! How's my hair?

Man at Work!!

2011-10-08T12:20:00.000-07:00

Words to Live By

2011-02-02T19:19:00.000-08:00

http://www.wimp.com/liveadvice/

11 Step Program For Those Thinking of Having Kids

2011-01-12T11:42:00.000-08:00

Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.

2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.

3. Go home.

4. Pick up the paper.

5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...

1. Methods of discipline.

2. Lack of patience.

3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.

4. Allowing their children to run wild.

5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.

Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3

A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...

1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)

2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.

3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.

4. Set the alarm for 3AM.

5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.

6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.

7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.

8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.

9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.

2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.

3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.

4. Then rub them on the clean walls.

5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.

6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.

1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.

2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.

1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.

Leave it there.

2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.

3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.

4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8

1. Hollow out a melon.

2. Make a small hole in the side.

3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.

4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.

5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.

6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say 'it's all worth it!' Share it with your friends, both those who do and don't have kids. I guarantee they'll get a chuckle out of it. Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things you'll need when you become a parent!

Christmas Eve surprise!!

2010-12-29T13:54:00.000-08:00

Today we found out we had another ultrasound of the baby and learned if we're having a boy or a girl. So we went to the store, bought an outfit in the appropriate color, wrapped it up, and had the girls open it with all the family there.

... and it's a boy!! You can see Grandma McLellan and Grandpa Packer are SUPER excited!! The girls ... not so much. They really wanted a baby sister, but I guess they'll have to wait until round 2. ;)
Rio gave my parents a hand-painted cube with that said "Families are Forever" on the top with pictures of everyone in the windows. Rio even threw in some lotions inside the box as an extra present. Cute!!
The girls were sooo excited about their gift to Jeff- an iPad stand for his desk. It swivels around so he can have it propped up next to his screen while he works. He was just as excited as they were!! He loves it!

Jeff got a cool t-shirt from Nate from Hawaii.

Grandma Packer made Raine a new comforter for her bed. Raine decided she wanted a bright lime green on one side, and my mom found a cool metallic rainbow/black print for the other side. She even sewed a huge sun on the green side in stitching. It's an awesome blanket sure to be worn as a cape as often as possible. That's what you do with your favorite blanket, right?!

Grandpa McLellan is opening a present which he is apparently quite perplexed about. I can't remember what he's opening, but it looks like an enigma wrapped in a mystery. ;)

Rio got a great new robe from Grandma Packer. it matches the new slippers she got from Jeff & I and has ALL her favorite colors.

All in all, this was a GREAT Christmas. We had a delicious dinner with everyone over, spent time opening gifts, and had a wonderful evening together. We feel so blessed and loved everyday by our amazing families.

It's better that you know. Haha!!

2010-12-23T17:05:00.000-08:00

Week 12 Baby Bump!

2010-12-22T12:30:00.000-08:00

Houston, we've made visual. There is a bump there!

RIP Freddy dog

2010-12-20T17:01:00.000-08:00

Today my 2nd best friend died. He was 14yrs old, and suffered from liver, kidney and heart failure, arthritis, cataracts, partial deafness, and most recently, incontinence. Not a fun life, so I had him put to sleep this morning.

I have to say it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I know that sounds sappy, and maybe its the pregnancy hormones talking, but I really had a hard time letting my "baby" go. Here are a few fun pics from the last 6yrs.

This is the day that I got him from the pound. He was picked up as a stray in Irvine. Not the most ghetto place, and the workers at the shelter thought his owner went senile because he was found with a big blue bow glued to his back.

After a trip the groomers he looked so much better and was sooo much happier! Freddy never really took to Jeff. I think they saw each other as "competition", and when Freddy realized that this guy was here to stay, he took revenge. Mostly on his shoes in the form of selective incontinence. It's not fun putting on a wet shoe, and Freddy knew which buttons to push with Jeff.

Who, me?

Raine and Rio adopted Freddy right away as their own.

(Rio did her own make-up for this picture. Pretty, huh?!)

As much as he needed it, Freddy never really enjoyed bath time. I thought dogs loved the water!

Freddy was best known for his tongue. That's right! It is theorized that he was part lizard. He had the longest tongue ever!! And he showed it off whenever he was content. He would lick the air for hours as long as he was sitting on someone's lap or being given attention. It was the weirdest quirk, but always made people laugh.

Oh Freddy, you were the best dog ever. You'll never be replaced nor forgotten. Thank you for being my friend, my white shadow, a faithful study buddy through grad school, an awesome roommate, and the cutest Cesar's dog food look-alike ever. RIP.

She's living my nightmare ... on purpose?!

2010-10-06T18:35:00.001-07:00

You know that dream where you show up to school without any pants on? Scary, I know! Well, this chic is living it ... on PURPOSE! I sure hope she's sleep-walking!

At what point does a person just say “screw it, I don’t need to put on shoes or pants”? Most people in the world would put pants on to walk into another room of the house, or if not that, then they would put some on if they are going to the street to get their mail. You made it to Walmart. High five!

Google Street View: Now With More Antarctica

2010-10-06T18:30:00.000-07:00

I dunno, that looks less like a street and more like stepping in a bunch of penguin poop just waiting to happen. Cute 'lil fellas though. Anyway, Google Street Views ofAntarctica: it's happened. Next up: the moon. I get to drive the rover! "

Antarctica on Google Street View (have a look around!)

Iliterate Clown Voted Into Californian, oops I mean Brazilian Congress

2010-10-06T18:27:00.001-07:00

Francisco Everardo Oliveira Silva, a 45-year old illiterate Brazilian man best known for his portrayal of Tiririca the clown, just won a place in Brazilian Congress with more than 2x the votes as the next closest candidate. JOKES: YES WE CAN.

Tiririca caught the attention of disillusioned voters by asking for their support with the humorous slogan: "It can't get any worse" and a promise to do nothing more in Congress than report back to them on how politicians spend their time.

"What does a congressman do? The truth is I don't know, but vote for me and I'll tell you," the 45-year-old said in his campaign advertisements.

I don't think Brazil is the only place with illiterate clowns in congress!! The fact that this guy had twice as many votes as the "real" politician kinda tells you something, and, get this, his mottos was "It Can't Get Any Worse". He's got my vote!!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/39495001/ns/world_news-americas/?GT1=43001

It Was Only A Matter Of Time: Electric Snuggie

2010-10-06T18:23:00.001-07:00

The Coz-e, like the Snuggie, is a giant piece of marketing poop. But, to its credit, the Coz-e does add the extra excitement of potential combustion. GET AWAY FROM ME GRANDPA, YOU'RE A SHUFFLING FIRE HAZARD! $68 takes one home, but no amount of money will replace your personal effects when said home ends its life in a house fire. Which is exactly why I keep all the stuff that's really important to me right here in the trunk of my....where's my car? I'M NOT KIDDING, WHERE IS MY CAR?! Oh NO, not my Beanie Babies!

http://dvice.com/archives/2010/10/finally-an-elec.php

What Your Facebook Picture Says About You

2010-10-06T18:18:00.000-07:00

Note: This isn't the whole graphic, you need to click HERE to see the whole thing and really delve into the field of Facebook portrait investigation. It's kind of like CSI, in the same way having a bear maul your face off is like making out with a supermodel. Basically identical. Now -- here's a badge and gun, let's do this!

What does a person's Facebook portrait say about them? 99% of the time it says they're ugly and trying to hide it. But not in my case. In my case it says, "dang is that a drawing of a hot chick getting a Nobel Peace Prize and standing on a pile of money?" YOU KNOW IT IS! (Don't wake me from my dream!!)

http://www.geekologie.com/2010/10/what_your_facebook_picture_say.php

In the debate between oval and round toilet seats I'm siding with the oval ones. The round ones are too small to easily find in the dark when you have to pee at night. Just thought you should know my stance (or seat. Get it? Toilet seat! Haha!) on that.

2010-09-30T00:33:00.001-07:00

Don't Even Act Like You're Already Doing It Right: The 'How Not To Pee' Bathroom Chart

2010-09-18T19:41:00.001-07:00

Truths For Mature Humans

2010-07-17T20:14:00.001-07:00

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear
your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I
don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod
and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still
not know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car
keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the
Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button
from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every
time!

24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

Needs More Cowbell. No wait ... violin!

2010-06-19T21:58:00.000-07:00

This is a video series of some Japanese guy playing the music and sound effectsto old Nintendo games on a violin as they're being played. He has a whole bunch of them on his Youtube page but I posted Super Mario Bros., Super Mario 3 and Donkey Kong after the jump. They're at least worth taking a look at.

2010-05-29T17:10:00.000-07:00

Half way! 3:30 hrs. Feet hurt, but we have happy hats! ;)

2010-05-15T10:03:00.001-07:00

The view from mile 6. Time- 1:30 hrs

2010-05-15T08:10:00.001-07:00

The view from mile 3

2010-05-15T07:25:00.000-07:00

Rio was one of the top 5 runners in her Jogathon. Woohoo!

2010-04-30T10:15:00.001-07:00

Comparatively speaking ...

2010-04-27T16:48:00.000-07:00

Bunnies don't like showers in the sprinklers. Weird!!

2010-04-25T00:14:00.001-07:00

What serenity looks like from Sunset Cliffs

2010-04-25T00:13:00.001-07:00

--
"Be not simply good; be good for something." - Henry David Thoreau

Raine's orchestra music festival performance

2010-04-24T23:57:00.000-07:00

This morning Raine's orchestra class performed at Santiago High School in Corona for a regional music festival. They played 3 songs and sounded great! Later this evening there will be an awards ceremony at Knott' Berry Farm, so the class gets to go to the park all day! Fun!!

Easter at the McLellan's

2010-04-24T23:45:00.001-07:00

A Compilation Of People Sucking At Things In Commercials Before They Bought The Product Advertised

2010-04-24T23:33:00.000-07:00

This is a little compilation video of all the failures-at-life in commercials who can't manage to do anything right without a new product.

Finally! I can officially declare myself a "Geek"

2010-03-31T22:38:00.001-07:00

To all of you nerds and geeks who–like me–have been unfairly and inaccurately labeled “dorks,” only to then exhaustively explain the differences among the three to a more-than-skeptical offender, I say:

You’re welcome. This nerd/dork/geek/dweeb Venn diagram should save you a lot of time and frustration in the future.

To those of you who have been called “dweebs,” I say:

Stop hanging out with people from the 1950s.

Bowling with the cousins!

2010-03-31T17:32:00.000-07:00

Political Science for Dummies

2010-03-30T12:46:00.000-07:00

DEMOCRAT

You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for everyone.

REPUBLICAN

You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST

You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST

You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pour the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You drink some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You drink some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION

You have all the cows in Afghanistan , which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.

IRAQI CORPORATION

You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.

POLISH CORPORATION

You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

BELGIAN CORPORATION

You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.

FLORIDA CORPORATION

You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best looking cow.

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION

You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegal.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

Guess which browser I use ...

2010-03-29T03:55:00.000-07:00

Hint: it's the one that WORKS!!

Our family picture from 3 years ago when

2010-03-28T18:28:00.001-07:00

Raine's butterflies for "Crazy Hair Day". These used to be on her wall/ceiling, so she made the headband and fastened them to the loop. Creative!

2010-03-25T08:17:00.000-07:00

Bunny Lovin' in the Springtime. Francis was feeling frisky in the backyard.

2010-03-22T21:51:00.000-07:00

Let's hear it for New Dorks!

2010-03-13T18:22:00.000-08:00

So many choices and never enough toothbrushes!

2010-03-13T18:00:00.000-08:00

The latest in nutritional flow charts (after fast food and breakfast cereal), comes the candy edition. Now I don't know about you, but when I'm hankering for something sweet, there's only one thing that does the trick: candy dots. Kidding, those are by far the grossest candy ever made. It's not even candy -- just mostly ripped paper!

http://www.geekologie.com/image.php?path=/2010/03/13/candy-chart-2.jpg

A hawk killed a pidgeon in the backyard and this is all that's left of the little guy. It's a jungle out there!

2010-03-12T11:14:00.000-08:00

Rio's jogathon day!

2010-03-11T11:52:00.001-08:00

We're Honorary Members of the Mormon Battalion!

2010-03-10T20:39:00.001-08:00

Raine dressed up as a Mormon Batallion soldier at the new visitor's center.

2010-03-10T19:14:00.001-08:00

What a luck day for Nellie (yes, I name my car)! She turned 111,111 miles old. Probably time for an oil change! ;)

2010-03-08T13:21:00.001-08:00

Crazy Impressive Rube Goldberg Music Video

2010-03-02T20:28:00.000-08:00

This is the music video for Chicago-based OK Go's 'This Too Shall Pass', which consists of an unbelievable 3:53 long Rube Goldberg machine. You have to watchit. I mean, you don't haaave to, you'll just miss out if you don't. Then, at the water cooler tomorrow when we're all talking about the awesome music video we saw you'll just stand there looking stupid with your hands in your pockets. You'll make a comment about a Lady Gaga video. We will point and laugh. You will cry. We won't feel bad. I kid, sorta. ;-)

http://www.geekologie.com/2010/03/crazy_impressive_rube_goldberg.php

The only way to get me to wear an apron ... make it cute with a blingy bow and the title "Domestic Diva"!

2010-02-28T17:44:00.000-08:00

Balloon hats to celebrate a GREAT birthday

2010-02-18T21:14:00.000-08:00

We went to Corvette Diner to celebrate my bday tonight and simply HAD to get balloon hats. Raine named us- she is "crazy swirly girl" with her fun swirly balloons, Rio is "Abe Lincoln" because she thinks her hat looks like a stovepipe hat, and I'm "Cupid" becuase of the huge heart on top of mine. They also played the Chicken Dance song, so we danced around the restaurant doing the chicken dance. We had an awesome night!

=) Kate

They're following me EVERYWHERE!!

2010-02-17T14:40:00.000-08:00

Can you imagine this guy going 90 mph on his way to Dallas with these balloons trailing a few yards behind him?
Instructions for a fun time on the interstate....

Step 1. Tie balloons to car.
Step 2. Drive like a crazy person!
Step 3. Watch people freak out!!!!

Davo the Beast

2010-02-14T15:36:00.000-08:00

This is the dog we're watching this weekend. He's a Spanish Mastiff, 6mo old, and already weighs 150lbs. We took him to the dog park today where the girls spent an hour chasing him around and climbing trees. I don't know who had more fun!

=) Kate

--
"Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat the luckier you are." -Ray Kroc (business executive)

Rio handing out her Valentine's for her 4th grade class party

2010-02-11T10:46:00.001-08:00

The "secret" formula for how journalists report so well

2010-02-09T20:36:00.000-08:00

NOTE: F-bomb at 0:24 so turn down the volume there but still listen cause it's funny.

Engrish! Please give the bread money before you eat it.

2010-02-07T12:59:00.000-08:00

Finally!: New And Improved Ketchup Packets

2010-02-06T20:52:00.000-08:00

Finally, after years of watching me struggle with those impossible-to-open packets, Heinz has decided to take my advice and invest in new condiment applicators. Impressive, but I suggested spray cans. Named (and trademarked) the Dip & Squeeze, the new packet-y things offer both traditional ketchup squeezing capabilities with the added benefit of -- wait for it -- DIPPING!! I'm gonna need a spit cup. Plus, 3x the ketchup as a regular packet. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? If you answered, "I'll never have to buy ketchup from the grocery store again", you are. High-five, cheapskate!

The future, to go: Heinz reinvents the ketchup packet

http://www.geekologie.com/2010/02/finally_new_and_improved_ketch.php

Tori, Rio, and Raine dressed up as super heroes. Apparently not just ANYONE can take a dog for a walk. ;)

2010-01-28T21:26:00.000-08:00

"5 second rule" flow chart

2010-01-26T00:25:00.000-08:00

Freddy and Rocky (the Boston I'm dog-sitting this week) chowing down on treats

2010-01-25T01:52:00.001-08:00

A group of young people singing their order at McDonalds to the tune of "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz.

2010-01-21T15:51:00.000-08:00

Rio getting prepped to have a tooth pulled

2010-01-14T15:12:00.001-08:00

"Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you

The economy is so bad that:

2010-01-13T20:46:00.001-08:00

I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and had to learned their children's names.

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .

Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.

Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

The Mafia is laying off judges and Exxon-Mobil fired 25 Congressmen.

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

And, finally...
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

Darwinism of 2009

2010-01-11T22:49:00.000-08:00

Rio and I got pedis! Pretty toes from our spa pedicaures.

2010-01-06T17:13:00.000-08:00

Rio at Sunset Cliffs

2010-01-02T00:40:00.001-08:00

The Diet Coke and Mentos Experiment

2009-12-29T15:26:00.000-08:00

Pictures from my ride out to Cabrillo Lighthouse with Jeff

2009-12-24T17:31:00.000-08:00

"Carol of the Bells" Muppet-style

2009-12-13T23:43:00.001-08:00

Why do we love children?

2009-12-13T23:34:00.001-08:00

1) NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'

2) OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother.. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents .'

3) KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone.. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle....'

4) MORE NUDITY

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'

5) POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'

6) POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked.
'It sure is,' I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'

7) ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs.. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'

8) DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit..'
'And why not, darling?'
'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'

9) DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased..
The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: 'Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.' (I want this line used at my funeral!)

10) SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'

11) BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out.
'What have you got there, dear?'
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!'

NOW IF THIS DIDN'T BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY, GO BACK TO BED AND FORGET IT

2009-12-09T13:01:00.001-08:00

Funniest decoration idea yet!!

2009-12-09T13:00:00.001-08:00

Good news is that I truly out did myself this year with my Christmas decorations.

The bad news is that I had to take him down after two days. I had more people

come screaming up to my house than ever. Great stories.

But two things made me take it down.

First, the cops advised me that it would cause traffic accidents as they almost wrecked when they drove by.

Second, a 55 year old lady grabbed the 75 pound ladder almost killed herself putting

it against my house and didn't realize that it was fake until she climbed to the top

(she was not happy). By the way, she was one of the many people who attempted to

do that. My yard couldn't take it either. I have more than a few tire tracks where people

literally drove up my yard.

Jeff is my super sexy geisha guy! It takes a REAL man to look good with a red parisol. Rrarrrr!

2009-12-02T20:30:00.001-08:00

Raine's 6th grade Honor Roll awards ceremony. Go Raine-bow!

2009-12-01T14:40:00.000-08:00

Enough said. Haha!!

2009-11-11T17:28:00.000-08:00

Jeff's birthday dinner

2009-11-03T16:01:00.001-08:00

Rio and Sophie's cheer

2009-10-23T23:00:00.000-07:00

2009-10-18T22:32:00.001-07:00

You've been Mashed!

2009-10-15T21:16:00.001-07:00

kate mclellan sent you a custom Monster Mash-Up movie.

Click on the link below to check it out and make your own Monster Mash-Up.

monstermashup.com/1a7c6d

2009-10-14T17:49:00.000-07:00

This is what the world's cutest dog looks like. Now you know.

2009-10-12T01:23:00.000-07:00

Rio after the weekly assembly each Friday morning.

2009-10-12T01:22:00.000-07:00

Yes, happiness can be packaged and bought from a store. Don't believe me? Try a roccoco bar thingy from Eclipse Chocolate'. Amazing!

2009-10-12T01:19:00.001-07:00

The Auto's Rubber Car Wash. I think the sign is maybe missing a 'C'. Ya think?!

2009-10-07T13:39:00.001-07:00

2009-10-01T11:05:00.001-07:00

Join Overpaid Celebrities in Fighting for Legislation They Don't Understand

2009-10-01T09:08:00.000-07:00

DEMOCRAT	You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for everyone.
REPUBLICAN	You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So?
SOCIALIST	You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
COMMUNIST	You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE	You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE	You have two cows. Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pour the milk down the drain.
AMERICAN CORPORATION	You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.
FRENCH CORPORATION	You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch and drink wine. Life is good.
JAPANESE CORPORATION	You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
GERMAN CORPORATION	You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
ITALIAN CORPORATION	You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch. Life is good.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION	You have two cows. You drink some vodka. You count them and learn you have five cows. You drink some more vodka. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
TALIBAN CORPORATION	You have all the cows in Afghanistan , which are two. You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts. You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.
IRAQI CORPORATION	You have two cows. They go into hiding. They send radio tapes of their mooing.
POLISH CORPORATION	You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
BELGIAN CORPORATION	You have one cow. The cow is schizophrenic. Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish. The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow. The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk. The cow asks permission to be cut in half. The cow dies happy.
FLORIDA CORPORATION	You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best looking cow.
CALIFORNIA CORPORATION	You have millions of cows. They make real California cheese. Only five speak English. Most are illegal. Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.